There are literally 3 good people in this film: Elliott, Pete, and Nora. Three and a half because Lampie has his good moments. This is a movie about a bunch of jerky, drunk people who are either trying to scam a small town or abuse children.

They didn't spend enough time with Elliott visible. He's darling and I love him. Given that I hate almost everyone else in this film, I want more Elliot time.

The right message is there in the end, honestly, but my patience is very thin for how much terribleness is mixed in. I'll give them 40+ minutes of true wholesomeness at the beginning (after the Gogans' first song), but the movie could have done with like...2 less groups of villains. The town, the teacher, the Gogans, the traveling scam artist. I need a break from everyone who's awful.

Ultimately, the plot is held together very loosely and the pacing on the movie is pretty slow. I like that Eglantine is doing correspondence for witchcraft and that Browne is a huckster; I also like that her purpose is to help England win the war, and I like that she has to take the kids in. It's hard to tell what slows the pace down for me; maybe it's the side trip to Naboombu or the fight with the bookseller, or something. It feels like they tried to squeeze too much in and it made it slower and kind of boring?

The special effects are hit-or-miss, as is the music. But I do still love Eglantine, and the moments I had in my head as memories are still as fun now as they were when I was a kid. I definitely feel like this was another play by Disney to build off of Mary Poppins' success, and this is an inferior film.

Julie Andrews is a genuine delight, whether she's being fun or she's irritated. It's not just her voice, her whole presence is just delightful. George and Winifred Banks are excellent side characters, and the kids are as adorable as they need to be. Dick Van Dyke is a national treasure and I won't hear a word against him.

Structurally, there's not really a plot, but that makes sense given that it's based on a series of kind of episodic books. It's also very long. I think the length and episodic nature takes away from the character study of stuffy, cross Mr. Banks and how he learns from his children (and Mary Poppins and Bert) how to retain a sense of wonder and joy. But it's consistently fun. The music is delightful, the dancing is wonderful, and the adventures Mary Poppins and Bert and the kids go on are spectacular. I'm sure I have nostalgia for it but I think this stands up, to be honest.

The dings on the grade are for occasional bad costumes, bad makeup, the length, the imperialist nonsense. I'm honestly tempted to raise it back up because of the flawless animation/live action melding.

I know this is shameful for someone my age but I've never seen this movie before. I may have caught bits of it when my brothers were younger, but the only thing I remember is Pauly Shore doing the leaning tower of cheese-a. I'm pretty much going into this one blind.

This is a really epic movie, but it's less of my favorite than I remember. It still has some great moments and songs I like but basically, the half of the movie where Simba's away from Pride Rock is more boring than I remember, and I care a lot less about Simba when he's not a tiny baby.

Do I honestly even have to review this movie? I have a matching tattoo with my brothers where we each got Lock, Shock, or Barrel. I think it's safe to say I love the hell out of this movie. I've also seen it so many times, and so many times recently, that I ranked it before I even started it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯