Let me tell you what. If I had remembered how much of this movie was based on Native American stereotyping and racist imagery, I would have skipped it. I thought it was just the one song but boy oh boy was I wrong. Almost half the movie is pretty damn disgusting.
Not gonna lie - I was expecting to love Peter Pan. I remember when I played Kingdom Hearts, and you go to Neverland and learn to fly for the first time, I actually cried because it was so amazing. I LOVE Captain Hook. He's so iconic and wonderful. I'm really disappointed at how much I disliked this movie.
Notable Grossness
:siiiiiiiiiiigh: The Native Americans. Lots of "redskins" and ridiculous bullshit abounds through most of the movie. I'm really disappointed, and I'm disappointed that I forgot.
The music is mostly boring. Other than "You Can Fly", nothing else really lands for me. I do like the part where Hook is trying to get the Lost Boys to sign up as pirates and he offers them a free tattoo - catchy line. As for animation - the best part is when they fly over Neverland and you see the map view of the world, and when they're flying off of Big Ben. The crocodile is handled really well, and I love the scene where Peter is doing the Hook impression in the cave. Smee is great and has some good one liners, among his bumbling. I hated that they replaced Tink drinking poison for a bomb. Just.......weird. This whole thing was just broad strokes, in story and in art. There's very little that's beautiful or interesting in this one.
I remembered liking the Lost Boys a lot more. In this watch, I thought they were irritating and they were drawn to look kinda evil/bad. I would have loved to see them be innocent little kids having fun, not the bad boys from Pleasure Island who cause trouble, but that's what they reminded me of. In fact, I remembered liking Tinkerbell a lot more too. Mostly, I didn't like anybody in this movie (except Captain Hook and Michael because Michael is precious and must be protected at all costs). The parents were awful, Wendy was cardboard, John was a budding little racist, Peter is an asshole, and Tink is a traitor who does the right thing out of guilt, but not in an interesting way.
In all, I think what I love about Peter Pan the story was handled 8 million times better than this in Hook, which is a far far far superior movie. It captures all the same themes and moments, but it does it without being grossly racist or boring. The only reason this film is getting a D instead of an F is because only half the movie is racist, and there are some really funny moments - namely, Smee shaving Captain Hook, and Peter imitating him. Also the first appearance of the crocodile is iconic and wonderful.
Recent Snark
The Lion King
This is a really epic movie, but it's less of my favorite than I remember. It still has some great moments and songs I like but basically, the half of the movie where Simba's away from Pride Rock is more boring than I remember, and I care a lot less about Simba when he's not a tiny baby.
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Do I honestly even have to review this movie? I have a matching tattoo with my brothers where we each got Lock, Shock, or Barrel. I think it's safe to say I love the hell out of this movie. I've also seen it so many times, and so many times recently, that I ranked it before I even started it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Aladdin
This is really just such a joyful piece of art, not ONLY because of Robin Williams but definitely a lot because of Robin Williams.
Beauty and the Beast
I love Belle and the animated furniture is charming. I liked this a lot more when I was a kid.
DuckTales the Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp
What in the actual hell is this movie? Is this the trial run on Aladdin? But like.............a bad one? Also the literal best part of this movie is when they play the DuckTales theme. At the end. :sigh: