This is really not that great.

I don't know what the appeal is here, to be honest. I'm sure I liked this as a kid. But the story seems to be dragged out; I still don't get the point of the pink elephants bit other than "Dumbo is drunk" which...okay? If I didn't know Dumbo was made in 1941, I would put that pink elephant animation at the 60s. I don't like that style but maybe that meks it ahead of its time? The animation is nothing special. Nothing has much detail, it's very broad strokes, and the coloring doesn't have a lot of depth. The music's not great, the story is fine but not that exciting. Dumbo flies once before he loses the magic feather and then learns he had it in him all along, and then the movie's over. I think because this wasn't a big watch for me as a kid, I don't have nostalgia for it, either. This feels like a Disney short they stretched into a movie.

Notable Grossness

Racial stereotypes in the crows, faceless black laborers putting up the circus

Dumbo, a young gray elephant with big blue eyes wearing a yellow hat and a red and yellow collar, hiccups a few dozen yellow bubbles while standing over a wooden tank, then falls to the side of the tank, his eyes drooping and his trunk trailing off the edge of the tank until it falls off, one more bubble popping up from his trunk. The caption reads, 'Me since quarantine started'

Given how little actually happens in this movie, I don't really have much else to say about it. I also suspect I'm causing lots of people to hate me with this grade. 😂

November 24th, 2020

More Disney Animated Features

A movie release poster shows a group of white people, 4 men, a woman, and a young boy, surrounding a green animated dragon with pink wings and red hair. The poster says "Coming at Christmas, Walt Disney Productions' Pete's Dragon"
Pete's Dragon
Five human actors, a woman, a man, and three children of various ages, sit on a flying brass bed with a floral blanket, with the moon and clouds behind them. Below them, illustrated animals are in various poses: two fish dance together (one in a suit); two fish and an octopus play in a band together with the words "The Briny Boys" on the front of the drum kit; an alligator, a rhino, and a gorilla run around a soccer field in yellow and green athletic outfits; a lion in a crown and red royal robe stands with one foot on the soccer ball; and a secretary bird in a suit with glasses stands watching.
Bedknobs and Broomsticks
Bert, a chimney sweep, Jane, a young blonde child in a red dress and yellow overcoat, Michael, a young strawberry blonde child in short pants and a button coat, and Mary Poppins, a nanny in a red dress with a black hat with white flowers, stand on a rooftop, covered in soot.
Mary Poppins
Bigfoot, a giant humanoid creature with red fur, sits in front of a cardboard box with a downward pointing arrow on the side, wearing a pair of white men's briefs underwear on his head. He holds the crotch hole open with his fingers so he can look out. Goofy, a dog-like humanoid cartoon with black skin and a pale face, and long ears, watches from his yellow car several hundred feet behind Bigfoot, with his son Max in the passenger seat; Max looks similar to Goofy.
A Goofy Movie

Recent Snark

The Lion King

February 22nd, 2022

This is a really epic movie, but it's less of my favorite than I remember. It still has some great moments and songs I like but basically, the half of the movie where Simba's away from Pride Rock is more boring than I remember, and I care a lot less about Simba when he's not a tiny baby.

The Nightmare Before Christmas

July 13th, 2021

Do I honestly even have to review this movie? I have a matching tattoo with my brothers where we each got Lock, Shock, or Barrel. I think it's safe to say I love the hell out of this movie. I've also seen it so many times, and so many times recently, that I ranked it before I even started it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Aladdin

July 6th, 2021

This is really just such a joyful piece of art, not ONLY because of Robin Williams but definitely a lot because of Robin Williams.

Beauty and the Beast

June 29th, 2021

I love Belle and the animated furniture is charming. I liked this a lot more when I was a kid.

The Rescuers Down Under

June 22nd, 2021

This is legit one of my favorite movies.

DuckTales the Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp

June 15th, 2021

What in the actual hell is this movie? Is this the trial run on Aladdin? But like.............a bad one? Also the literal best part of this movie is when they play the DuckTales theme. At the end. :sigh: